A Modest Proposal on U. S. Proof of Citizenship

     After the national humiliation that was (and perhaps still is) the Obama vs. "birthers" circus, it seems only just that the national government and the collective states do the right thing by establishing an appropriate test for national office-holders. This test would make obsolete the need to find ancient birth certificates yet still meet the standards of those who wish that only true Americans be eligible for national office. After all, what the "birthers" apparently want is a way to deny office to persons who do not understand the constitutional, revolutionary, and christian principles upon which the nation was founded.

     In the spirit of the "birthers" movement, therefore, I offer the following, simple multiple choice exam that must be passed by any candidate before they can assume the national office to which they are elected.  Failure to answer all of the questions correctly will result in their ineligibility to occupy national office.

1. In what part of the U. S. Constitution does the phrase "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" appear?

          a. The Preamble

          b. Article I

          c. Article III

          d. The First Amendment

          e. The Fourteenth Amendment

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

2. Who penned the final draft of the U. S. Constitution?

          a. George Washington

          b. James Madison

          c. Thomas Jefferson

          d. Gouverneur Morris

          e. Thomas Paine

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

3. The opening paragraph of the U. S. Constitution contains which of the following phrases?

          a. ". . . to provide for the general welfare . . ."

          b. ". . . when in the course of human events . . ."

          c. ". . . the equal protection of the laws . . ."

          d. "Congress shall make no law prohibiting the freedom of religion"

          e. "These are the times that try men's souls . . . ."

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

4. The Declaration of Independence:

          a. has no status as a constitutional or legal document

          b. was written by a man who was unwilling to admit that he was, in fact, an atheist

          c. was a propaganda document intended to influence European powers

          d. was signed in large handwriting by a Massachusetts politician trying to impress his constituents

          e. was criticized and even ridiculed by some American politicians after the revolution was over

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

5. The "Founding Fathers"

          a. were more intelligent than subsequent American politicians

          b. were driven to their success through their broad adherance to The Bible and Christian principles

          c. set aside social, cultural, or economic differences in writing the U. S. Constitution

          d. avidly sought to establish the democratic principle of legal equality for those born in the U.S.

          e. believed that God had guided their hand in writing the Constitution

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

6. A majority of the "Founding Fathers" were

          a. religious zealots

          b. Baptists

          c. Anglicans

          d. Catholics

          e. evangelical Christians

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

7. Who among the "Founding Fathers" was most religious?

          a. George Washington

          b. Thomas Jefferson

          c. John Adams

          d. Thomas Paine

          e. James Madison

          f. Alexander Hamilton

          g. William Pitt

8. What is the source of the claim that:  "God helps those who help themselves"?

          a. The Declaration of Independence

          b. Benjamin Franklin

          c. Thomas Paine

          d. George Washington

          e. The Bible

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

9. When were the words "under God" placed in the U. S. Pledge of Allegiance

          a. 1776

          b. 1789

          c. 1865

          d. 1914

          e. the 1930s

          f. the 1950s

          g. the 1990s

10. When the U. S. government began in 1789, to whom did the phrase "We the People" refer:

          a. everyone

          b. white men, women, and children

          c. less than 25% of the entire population of the collective states

          d. more than 25% of the entire population but less than 50% of the population

          e. those born in the U. S., and immigrants who met congressional residency requirements

          f. None of the above

          g. All of the above

[The answers are: 1f; 2d; 3a; 4g; 5f; 6f; 7c; 8b; 9f; 10c] How did you do? By their own admission, John Boehner and Michelle Bachmann failed!!

Obama and the "birthers"

     The perceived need for the President of the United States to make public the official long copy of his birth certificate to prove that he is, indeed, a citizen of the U. S. is a shameful moment in the American past.  It is likely to prove as embarrassing as John Adams's refusal to stay in Washington, D. C. to see his former friend, Thomas Jefferson, inaugurated. It reminds one of all of the loyalty tests devised during the Cold War, and Joe McCarthy's disgusting brow-beating and berating of those testifying before his committee, and the House on Un-American Activities Committee hauling all sorts of terrified persons before their committee to humiliate the testifier and his/her families and friends.
     The fact that President Obama felt compelled to offer this evidence is disgusting in several ways. First, on the political level, it is apparent that the Republican Party leadership had many opportunities and plenty of time to quell the "birther" movement from the start. It did not do so out of fear of its most vocal social (not financial) benefactors on the far, far right. Yet, the Republicans had every interest in doing the right thing. In the 1960s, when former governor of Michigan, George Romney, was considering a run at the presidency, a small number of persons raised the point that Romney had been born in Mexico, not in the U. S., and since the 14th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution states clearly that:  "Persons born in the United States are citizens of the Uniteds States and the state wherein they reside," they thought they might have a point.  Yet, it had long been understood that children born of American parents while they were abroad were also considered to be American citizens. No political opponents made much of this issue, and Romney remained a legitimate candidate in everyone's eyes until he decided not to run. One would think that one of the current Republican candidates, Mitch Romney, who knows the story of his father's political career full well, would have been loud in his condemnation of those who would keep the "birther" issue alive.
     Second, the sub-text of race is hardly hidden by those who oppose President Obama's claim to be a citizen. It has only been about fifty years since African Americans could indeed claim the practical rights of U. S. citizens, and many who deny the legitimacy of his citizenship now would willingly return to the era of the 1950s, when Blacks in most of America knew their place, which was not in public office or even voting for that matter. There is more than a little truth to the fact that right-wing Republicans (and let's face it, they are almost all right wing) sentimentalize the 1950s and would like to return to the Eisenhower era, when true family values prevailed. There was more ugly about the 1950s than good, however. The decade did witness the rise of a broad American middle class, caused by the fact that the U. S. was not devastated by the World War II as was most of Europe and much of Asia, but it was also the era of racism, the suppression of women, and a period of anti-intellectualism.
     Finally, the even more disturbing element in the origin's of Obama's birth issue is what it reflects about American notions of the "other." In fact, only American intellectuals would use the term the "other" because most non-intellectual Americans either bask in the misperception that everyone is included in America, or they complain that America is not pure enough, i. e., pure white, conservative, native born, and christian. As I have argued in other places, Americans are not familiar with the outer world, especially that exotic world of Africa and Indonesia (and we might as well say Hawaii, in regard to those who hate the "other") which helped to inform and educate Barack Obama. A majority are ethnocentric. In fact, a majority are xenophobic in a way that only the world's most backward, remote, and traditional nations can be identified as xenophobic. For a country that often lauds its heritage as a land of immigrants, this narrow view of human acceptance is especially troubling.